Friday, January 2, 2009

First post of 2009 and I hope to improve :)

So... it's the first day of two thousand and nine... Wow. I honestly didn't think I'd get this far. Two thousand and eight has been a crazy, weirdly wonderful, fast-paced year that has, ironically, been pretty drawn out. Filled with many challenges that I was sure I would NEVER get through, along with a suitcase full of incredible blessings, the year two thousand and eight has been extremely diverse-but in a good way :)

A year ago I woke up as a young, sixteen-year-old girl who didn't have any idea what was going to head her way that year. I was in my second semester in eleventh grade. I didn't have my learners, I.D, or really much of a clue. At least… not as much of one as I do now.

A year ago, I woke up unaware. Unaware of how sad and weird it would be to say goodbye to my bestest friend who was moving to the UK, across the world from me. Unaware of how hard it would be to have someone who was my tutor and very close friend move away to Arizona with her family. Unaware of the fact that when my Grandparents went back to the United States again, it would be for good :( Oblivious to the fact that my closest group of friends was about to disband and disperse into smaller numbers. We were all growing up and getting jobs. Half of us had graduated and were either going to college or going on gap year to the UK. It made sense. But it was hard, and it still hurts.

I hadn’t really realized how vital it was to work hard so I could get good grades in school, pass my SATs with really good scores, and basically just didn’t see how beneficial expanding my general knowledge would be. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t have things all figured out at all! But I see now, if I had just worked a little harder in my junior year in high school, my senior year wouldn’t be so hard. My SAT scores would be a lot better if I had taken a few extra minutes out to study every day. I wouldn’t have to worry whether I’d be bright enough by the time I got to college, cause now, college is peering at me from around the corner, only a few more strides ‘til I’m there it seems. I think my grades will be good enough, but I do wish they were better.

The year of two thousand and eight has also shown me how faithful the Lord is in one’s life, no matter what you do. Whether I’ve prayed only once in a day or thirty times in a day, He is ever faithful and never gives up on me. Even if I haven’t read His Word in a week, He still talks to me and makes me constantly aware of His presence in my life. How cool is that?? I don’t know of anyone who would still love me as much if I didn’t talk, email, text, or write to him or her for a while. I know I want to better my relationship with Him this year, and that will be my primary goal :)

On to other things to look forward to, I’ve had my learners since September and, Lord willing, hope to get my drivers on my eighteenth birthday, which is on the twenty-first of February J I graduate in May of this year and then will probably be going off to college in Arizona, which starts in August! A year ago I didn’t think I’d begin my studies until at least two thousand and ten. I didn’t think it would be in Arizona for a degree in teaching for that matter either, but it’s incredible how the Lord works…

Anyway, I guess the main point of this is that I just wish I had been a little smarter with my time; a little wiser too; a little more patient with my siblings; a little more humble concerning what I knew was best for me; and a lot less concerned about what the world would think of me… Back in the beginning of two thousand and eight I wish I had thought ahead, even if it was only a couple steps ahead of where I was. The year two thousand and nine has one day down, and many more to go. I know I can make a difference this year and make up for some of the many mistakes I made last year! And I can only thank my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, for giving me another year. For giving me this chance to live my life better than I ever have before. I dedicate my eighteenth year of life to Him, and only Him :)


Anonymous said...

Belated happy new year to you: )
May all of your dreams & wishes come true..cheers: )

Marina said...

Very sweet post! Cheers to that =)